You said move on, where do I go?

@ 4:28 AM

Rain

Sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off with a different family.
Or if I ran away from home, cutting off all ties.

I still wonder why am I different from others.
We're all the same, aren't we?
I'm gonna sound immature now.
Other people can hang out outside till late, stay out overnight even.
Me? Haha. I have to beg to stay out till 12.
No sleepovers, no staying over at friend's houses too.
See the disparity?

All I ever wanted was freedom.
I hate being restricted; being caged up with all those rules.
I'm only free when I'm 21.
21, you hear? Twenty-one.
The age of responsibility.
The age where I can't afford to be childish anymore.
I'll miss the best part of my life- youth.
When I grow old, I'll only remember times when I struggled to keep my job.
When the only time you've ever had fun was when you're... What?
Oh yeah, you've never had fun even when young.
All those memories that I'll miss out on.

Yeah you may think that I'm thinking too far into the future.
But I've made mistakes. I've looked back.
I've realised I want to enjoy now as much as I can.

But I can't.

@ 6:34 AM

Holy shit!

Went to church today.

During the whole thing, I wanted to
1. Sleep
2. Eat
3. Sms
4. Lie down
5. SLEEP!!!!

And when they were singing, three things were passing through my head.
1. How would the hymn "O come, all ye faithful" sound like if Beyonce sung it.
2. There are actually some nice hmyns. For example "One Small Child".
2. If anyone had sex while listening to the hymn "Silent night! Holy night!". If some couple did, I'd applaud them course: the song is so peaceful you'd fall asleep while in the act, and you'd laugh course it's so ironic, what with Jesus being all peace-loving, and there you are doing it. HAHA.

Overall I find church okay.
If there was more people my age there.
And of course if I was a christian instead of a free thinker.
Did you know I used to think free thinker was spelled as free twinkle? Joke.
I enjoyed the buffet :D

MERRY X'MAS EVERYONE! ♥

@ 5:28 AM

Colour me out

Have you ever felt an aversion towards human contact?
Like you have to wear different masks to suit people,
whether you like it or not.
An act, put up to convince people you're okay, but at the same time you know you're not, and you're betraying yourself by uttering lies, deceiving people.

Just a thought.

I guess what hurts the most is knowing that you won't come after me even if I walk away.

@ 3:51 AM

Seashells

Taylor Lautner's one of the Most Eligible Bachelors of '09
Big shocker there -.-
Along with Robert Pattinson (silence).

I hate New Moon.
Oh hate's a strong word.
I dislike New Moon.

@ 5:55 AM

Porcelain

The truth is, everybody's going to hurt you. You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.

- Bob Marley
(Well I know if I'm not worth it...)

I can't figure out what you're thinking....
You're so unlike the others I've met.
However I'm not sure if I'd want to know what you're thinking at the same time...
It hurts knowing, but it hurts even more not knowing.

I thought that everything was going well, I really did.
But suddenly I'll do something wrong again and make you sad.
I really want to make you happy when you're with me.
But I don't know what to do, and what not to do.
Haha why do I keep screwing up?

@ 6:50 AM

Starch and Glucose

I'm back! Like after gazillions of years (exaggerating)
Suddenly the dark clouds have all disappeared and I really think I should blog something that actually makes sense to you guys :)

Reasons for my somewhat-cheerful mood

1. My blogskin! Sigh I like the background, but I wanna put a few images up there. I think it's kinda plain and all, plus it looks so boring I could yawn just looking at it (again, exaggerating, but still.) The one thing that INFURIATES me is that I spend HOURS looking for a picture that is both big and nice, but I can't seem to find any! Nvm I'll just stick to this for now. Keep your comments about this ugly blogskin to yourself for now :)

2. My problems are partly resolved.

3. There's chocolate ice cream and chocolate syrup in my refrigerator.

4. I'm listening to Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. She's like soooo awesome and that music video's really cool I swear you should go check it out or something. (sings)"I don't wanna be friends... WANT YOUR BAD ROMANCE"! Okay I should stop now.

5. I ♥ Taylor Lautner! He's like perfection or something I swear I can look at his face for hours and not grow tired of it. He's like so damn cute, but hot at the same time! Pfft to Edward(aka Gay who puts on lipstick). Taylorrrrr!!! And his full name sounds nice too, for you all ignorant people out there, his full name is TAYLOR DANIEL LAUTNER. Oh, that's kinda linked to my next reason too.

6. My facebook name is Debbie Daniel Lautner. This also means that I am part of Taylor (ooooo sounds so sweet) and NO ONE, I repeat: No one can get him except me. Screw that Sara Hicks or whatever, but if he ends up with Taylor Swift it's really fine with me, course Taylor Swift is so pitiful(?) and all, what with her getting interrupted by that Kayne West during the VMA award thingy and getting dumped by that shitface Joe Jonas.

7. Course I just gave Winnie the Pooh a new nickname: Winnie the POOOOO :)

8. I joined tagged.com a few years ago, and since the time I joined, there's a lot(when I say a lot, I mean A LOT) of messages sent by strangers. And all of the messages never fails to crack me up course those people are trying to act as if they aren't desperate(but they are anyway, LOL.)

9. I'm like actually kinda pissed off now cos I'm like damn fat and some fucker keeps emphasizing that fact to me. Ugh. Chill Debbie chill, chocolate ice cream will always be there for you :) Awwwwww! No no no it makes me fat shoooo I don't want you anymore! Okay wait, I still do. Don't go away! Okay why am I acting like a lunatic, talking to myself?

10. My lip 's bleeding, again. The result of too much boredom-ness(cos I was too bored therefore I bit my own lips for something to do.) Wait this has nothing to do with me being happy so... I'm rambling, shall stop now.

Okay wait so now my current mood is: IRRITATED!!!!
Sigh I was happy then I became irritated due to some unknown fucker.
Hope you read this and feel guilty. -'-

@ 5:34 AM

Ramblings

I stared at him, frustrated. "That's mean."
"So are you."
That pulled me up short, and I took an involuntary step back. He was right. If I wasn't mean -and greedy, too- I would tell him I didn't want to be friends and walk away. It was wrong to try to keep my friend when that would hurt him. I didn't know what I was doing here, but I was suddenly sure that it wasn't good.
"You're right," I whispered.

-Eclipse

My name's at the top. 16th Jan's my day, don't ruin it. I like surprises and surprising people. Lastly, don't assume you know me cos no one does.
I'm falling in love but it's falling apart.

AAL Aian Akmal Alicia Amalina ♥ Amirah Amirul Azhar Azrayna Brandon ♥ Binxiang Celine Cheng Wee Chong Teng David Deon Dion Elvira Ezzudin Farhanah Farahin Felicia Florence Freda Hui Juan Hui Mei Huiying Ian ♥ Javan Jennifer ♥ Jerome Jerry Jialiang Jingying Jodi Joey Jowilly Khairul Leonard Ling Fang Man Ru Marisa Marshall ♥ Martin Monkey Natasha Naufal Pamela Rachel Randall ♥ Ruby Sabrinah Saetan Shermei ♥ Shi Hao Shirly Susan Syukri Terence Tiara Wee Siang ♥ Yingxiu YunJia ♥ Yu Zhi 1e1'o7

Dead links and privatised blogs will be deleted tyvm.

Debbie Daniel Lautner

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